This Just Happened

Upon coming home:

Sean: Gus is very proud of himself.

me: What did he do?

Sean: You'll have to check Facebook.  It read: "Recently, Gus has been digging a lot of holes in seemingly random spots in the backyard... Today, he caught a shrew."

me: He caught a shrew?  How do you know?

Sean: I saw it.  And, I looked it up. 

Later in the evening:

Sean: Can we let the dog outside?  He’s being annoying.

me: No!  The shrew may still be there.

Sean: Can you go check?

me: Yep, he’s still there. 

Sean: Can we let Gus out?
me: No!  Gus will eat him!

Sean: Then, can you move the shrew?  Toss him to the neighbor’s yard!

me: No!

Sean: Then take him to the front yard. But not through the house.

me:  He probably just needs time to build his hole.

Sean: We gave him an hour!
me: It takes a long.  They’re little.

Sean: He’s built to dig!  Why don’t you just move him?

me: I’m not a shrew mover!
Sean: You’re a biologist!

me: That doesn’t make me a shrew catcher!  Why don’t you catch him?

Sean: I don’t want to!  I’m fine with letting Gus out.

me: I’m not!  I don’t want the shrew to get eaten.

Sean: I know. I think that makes it your problem.

me: No it doesn’t!

Sean: Just use the yogurt container that’s sitting there to scoop it up.

me: What if we just cover the shrew up with the grill so that he’s protected?

Sean: That might work.

me: Okay.  Hold Gus. I’m going out.  Oh, he’s not there!

Sean: Can I let Gus out?
me: Yes.

A few minutes later:

Sean: Gus is barking.

me: I’ll go check…..

A moment later:

me: HE’S CORNERED THE SHREW AGAIN!

Sean: Well? 

me: Let’s give the shrew 24 hours to make his hole.