Diaper Derby

For the last month or two - pretty much as long as Calvin has been able to crawl/scoot - Sarah has joked that at his first birthday party we were going to have baby races.  In the last couple weeks, Calvin has been really picking up speed.  He is now crawling on hands and knees with a 70% success rate – the remaining 30% of the time, his hands are not fast enough to keep pace and he falls.  This increased speed has made parenting more difficult.  Before, I could throw something in the laundry and come back before Calvin had moved across the room.  Now if I leave the room for a second, he will undoubtedly be in the dog’s water dish when I return.  Between the increased speed and him pulling himself into the standing position, there has been a lot more baby proofing and a lot more supervision.

We went to the Santa Cruz County Fair today with some friends.  There were racing pigs and camel rides, baby goats and funnels cakes, giant pumpkins and a 3D printers - so a pretty typical fair with one exception… On a small stage, behind the FFA showcase hall, at 1PM sharp, tens of people turned out to see the most exciting event at the fair – Diaper Derby (an event we had only heard about the day before)!

Waiting for the race to start

The rules were simple:

1. Contestants must be under the age of one.

2. Contestants must crawl to the finish line – any walking will result in disqualification.

3. Parents may use whatever they want (toys, bottles, etc.) to entice the contestant to crawl to them.

The competition was fierce.  Five babies elected to compete: a little boy, a set of twins, a little girl, and Calvin.  Dads and babies lined up at one end of the stage, while moms and lures lined up at the other end.  With a Jellybeanz gift certificate and trophy on the line, the air was electric.

The race started, and the twins immediately took a commanding lead by using a knee-scoot technique (that was more than a crawl but not quite a walk).  It looked like the race was over before the other babies (including Calvin) had even moved from the starting position. But, in an exciting twist, just before crossing the finish line, both twins unexpectedly turned around and started moving in the opposite direction of the finish line. Whew!

What Calvin did for the first six minutes of the race

Meanwhile, the other babies (Calvin included) sat and watched this whole twin-centric production from the starting line.  For six excitement-filled minutes it went on like this, with the twins almost crossing the finish line only to abruptly change direction, and the other babies watching, while their dads tried to prompt them to move. At one point, Calvin looked like he was going to crawl off the race course to play in the dirt.  But he didn't.  Occasionally he would look at Sarah and smile, but not move at all in any direction. Eventually one of the twins (finally) crossed the finish line to win. So first place was out for Calvin. 

Luring Calvin slowly toward the finish line

The other (not winning) twin decided that the toy Sarah had (it plays music with lights that flash in time to the tune) looked like it would be SO MUCH FUN to play with and knee-crawled quickly toward Sarah to get it. Remember, Sarah is at the finish line. Sarah, without a competitive bone in her entire body, saw that the twin was coming to get the toy and may very well win second place, so Sarah slid the toy toward the twin in a direction that just-so-happened to be back on the race course, well away from the finish line.  While this was taking place, Calvin stared at a little boy who was walking nearby, the other little boy in the race laid down, and the little girl sat and looked at the wall behind her. It was shaping up to be a never-ending race, so Sarah took action.

The double cell phone maneuver

Grabbing Calvin’s “Happy Easter” sheep toy, she moved onto the racecourse and stopped in front of Calvin at a distance of approximately 1 foot.  Seeing his mommy and his sheep at a nearly graspable distance lit a fire in Calvin and he very slowly crawled in the general direction of Sarah.  Every time he got close to Sarah, she'd move a backwards a little, moving him ever closer to the finish line. Things were going great for Team Kienle, and it looked like Calvin was definitely going to get second place. Then, two things happened: the twin still in the race raced over to Sarah, once again attracted by the musical toy, so Sarah had to use some clever maneuvering to move Calvin closer to the finish line while simultaneously moving the twin back. This strategy was working well, until out of nowhere, the little girl who had previously been staring at the wall, charged toward the finish line in a startling burst of speed and physical prowess.  Seeing the little girl fly (well, crawl) by, Calvin lost interest in the sheep toy and decided to sit down.  I thought we had lost for sure, but, just like the twins before her, the little girl stopped mere inches from crossing the finish line, getting distracted by all the cheering. The second twin continued to happily play with the musical toy Sarah had slid onto the race track, and the other little boy continued to lie down at the start.

Sarah and Calvin are equally excited by his
victory

It was time to bring out the big guns to win (second place).  Aside from the dogs’ water dish at home, there is one thing that always gets Calvin’s attention – cell phones.  Sarah implemented the controversial double-cell phone maneuver and got Calvin back on all fours in hot pursuit of both mommy AND daddy's cell phones, just in time to win the silver medal!  The little girl got third, and the other two babies got hugs from their parents.

For finishing second, Calvin won a Dr. Seuss book, some banana puffs, and a snack holder.  He also got his picture taken to appear on the Diaper Derby website for next year’s County Fair.  He did not win a trophy. Only the first place winner got to take home that prize.

Baby Champion and his mom

At least now when I'm closely supervising our super mobile baby, I know I'm chasing after a baby champion.