A Day in the Life of Our Pets: Part 2

Gus did not like that Teddy went first (see Part One).  And he definitely didn't want THE CAT [Zorro] to get any attention, so here it is.  


We don't have a consistent voice we use for Gus.  It's usually an excited boy voice.  Make up your own.  


A Day in the Life of our Pets: Gus's Story

Wake up at 6:15am.  Look at Sean.  Go back to sleep.  Sometimes sleep is more important than pets.


Wake up at 8:05am to alarm.  Ready to get up.  Sarah does not.  Need Sarah to let me out of my cabin [crate] so I can start my day.  Bark at Sarah.  She ignores me.  Bark at Sarah again.  She ignores me.  Bark at Sarah again.  She ignores me.  Alarm goes off at 8:15am.  She gets up.  


Run out of crate.  No time for pets.  Scratch at dog door.  Sarah opens dog door.  Hurl myself out of dog door.  I think a herd of wild animals came through the yard last night.  I must identify all of them by their scent. 


I smell things.  I smell more things.  Sometime when I smell things that are really good, I bark.  Most days there are lots of really good smells.  I re-smell all the good smells, and bark again.


See THE CAT jump over the fence.  Good riddance.  No more THE CAT.


Faintly hear Sarah blabbering.  Decide unimportant.  Ignore Sarah.  Go into house for breakfast.  Look for Sarah.  No Sarah.  More importantly, no breakfast.  Wish instead of blabbering, Sarah had told me it was breakfast time.  See bowl on top of fridge.  Too high to get with jumping.  Must practice more.  Drink water.


Teddy stands beside door.  He stole my spot.  Push him out of the way.  Decide door unexciting.


Sleep on couch.  Wait for sun to hit backyard. 


Once sun in backyard, go outside and sleep in sun.  Must recharge.  Beagles are solar-powered.  


Sniff things.  Bark.  Go inside.  Sleep on couch.


Sniff things.  Bark.  Go back outside.  Sleep in sun.  


Sniff things.   Bark.  Look for escape routes.  There are none.  Will check tomorrow.  Bark.  Go inside.  Sleep on couch.


Sean comes home.  He didn't pet me right away.  Barked at Sean.  Got pets.  Sean sat on couch.  Jumped in his lap.  Got pets.  Sean got out computer.  Shoved it with my feet.  Got pets.  


Sarah comes home.  Ran to edge of couch.  Jump on Sarah.  Get pets.  Sarah sits on couch.  Jumped in her lap.  Got pets.  Sarah got out computer.  Shoved it with my feet.  Got laughed at and shoved to floor.


Sarah and Sean put on running clothes.  Get really excited!  Run around their feet to encourage them to go faster.  Try to steal a sock.  No luck.  Push them to the front door.  Sean puts on harness.  Try to make him put it on wrong by moving a lot.  Doesn't work.  


Teddy gets to go out door first.  No fair.  Barked at Sarah and Sean to let them know I'm unhappy.  Teddy gets to smell things on the driveway first.  No fair.  Barked at Sarah and Sean to let them know I'm unhappy.  Teddy gets to pee in the gravel first.  No fair.  Barked at Sarah and Sean to let them know I'm unhappy.  Pee in gravel too.  


Start running.  Yay!  Keep running.  Yay!  Smell things while running.  Yay!  Wait, we're done running?  Thought we had only begun, but Sarah and Sean drag me back into house.  I wasn't done running.  


Drink water.  Get pets from Sean while Sarah showers.


Start barking for food.  Sarah ignores me.  Shove both feet into my empty bowl to indicate no food.  Sarah ignores me.  Turn bowl upside down to indicate no food.  She doesn't understand.  Bang on bowl like drum to indicate no food.  She ignores me.  Go outside in frustration.


Faintly hear Sarah blabbering.  Decide to go inside.  Food time!  Put butt on floor for food.  Run to food.  Eat food as fast as I can.  Check to see if Teddy left anything behind.  He didn't.  Drink water.


Follow Sean around kitchen.  Wait for him to leave something by the edge of the counter.  He does.  Jump once to scout it out.  Jump twice and lunge to grab it.  Run like lightening to dog door and take it outside.  Hear Sean blabbering.  Unimportant.  Butter is good.


Look adorable while Sarah and Sean eat dinner.  Even balance on back two feet.  Sarah and Sean are not properly appreciative.  Don't want pets.  Want food.


THE CAT comes in.  Wait!  I thought THE CAT knew not to come back.  Bark at THE CAT.  Will attack THE CAT if Sarah and Sean want.  Sarah picks up THE CAT.  She must not know that THE CAT is not for petting.  Bark at THE CAT.  Jump at THE CAT.  Get yelled at.  


Go outside.  Bark at neighbor's dogs.  Continue barking.  Go inside.  Check to make sure THE CAT isn't being pet.


Once no food is on counter or table, go to Gus-Chair with Gus-Blanket.  Circle around on blanket several times.  It always gets folded funny.  Make into good bed.  Lay in bed.  


Hear doorbell.  Run to door.  Bark loudly!  Turns out we don't have a doorbell.  Get into Gus-Chair with Gus-Blanket.  


Hear knock on door.  Run to door.  Bark loudly!  Turns out nobody is at the door.  Get into Gus-Chair with Gus-Blanket.  


Sleep.  Check to make sure THE CAT is not being pet.  Continue sleeping.  


Go outside on leash.   Use bathroom.  Go inside and run to my cabin [crate].  Get bedtime snacks.


Lay down.  Bark at neighbor dogs from my cabin [crate] to assert dominance.


Sleep.  Snore.

Good day!

A Day in the Life of Our Pets: Part One

As you might know, Sean and I have three fuzzy mammals (besides ourselves) running around our house.  Teddy is a five year old cocker spaniel whose favorite activities are....well, you'll see.  Gus is a four year old miniature beagle (meaning he will always look like a puppy).  He's an adorable handful.  Last, but certainly not least, is Zorro, our four year old, rather large cat.  He's a cat.  He behaves cat-like.

Obviously, we know that our animals can't talk, but that doesn't stop us from giving them voices or trying to guess what each of them is thinking on a daily basis.  

Today Teddy volunteered to share his story.

Teddy's voice is usually a cross between Dug (from Pixar's Up) and Mr. Narwhale in Elf.  

A Day In The Life of our Pets: Teddy's Story

Wake up at 4am.  Pooped in the bathroom.  Itched myself to sleep.

Woke up again at 6:15am with Sean when he went to shower.  Stared at the wall outside the bathroom.  Checked to see if I would get any dog food.  I didn't.  Went back to bed.

Woke up at 8:05am with Sarah.  Hoped she would snooze the alarm.  She did.  Woke up at 8:25am with Sarah.  Stared at her until she pet me.  

Followed Gus to the dog door.  Didn't realize he was going outside.  Didn't need to poop.  Made an abrupt U-turn, tripped Sarah.  

Followed Sarah to bathroom.  Whined when Zorro came out of the cat room.  Went into the bathroom.  Stared at wall.  Whined when Zorro came into the bathroom.  Stopped whining when he left.  Followed Sarah to the bedroom.  Followed Sarah to the bathroom.  Followed Sarah to the kitchen.  

Sat down, and got breakfast.  Checked to make sure Gus didn't leave any food behind.  He didn't.

Followed Sarah to the bedroom.  Followed Sarah to the bathroom.  Followed Sarah to the front door.  Watched her leave.  Whined.  Looked sad.

Laid on couch.  

Avoided eye-contact with Gus.  Followed rules of absolutely no touching.

Laid on tile.

Itched.

Laid on wood floor.

Itched.

Laid on couch.

Got up when Sean came home.  Wagged my tail a lot. Tried to get on couch.  Slipped.  Will try again later.

Tried to jump on couch.  Made it.  Stared at Sean.  Got pets.  Laid on couch.

Sarah came home.  Fell off couch in excitement.  Wagged my tail a lot.  Tried to get on couch.  Front legs made it, back legs didn't. Tried again.  Made it.  Stared at Sarah.  Got pets.  Laid on couch.

Got really excited because Gus was really excited.  Got excited to go outside.  Did NOT realize we were going running.  Pooped in the driveway to show displeasure.  We went running anyway.  Barked at a dog.  Have to protect the family.  There are lots of threatening dogs-dangerous dogs.  Barked at another dog.  Barked at a lizard.  Ran really fast.  Then, ran really slow.  Then, Sarah had to pull me.  Did not realize how far we were going.  To get a break, pooped again.  

Laid down on tile in house to cool my belly.  Too tired to get water.

Got up for dinner.  Ate dinner.  Checked to make sure Gus didn't leave any food behind.  He didn't.  Drank some water.  Ears got wet again.

Stood by Sean while he was cooking.  Stared at the floor.  Ate things that fell on floor.

Laid down by table.

Laid down on couch.  Gus stole my spot.  Didn't want to violate no touching rule.  Laid on floor.

Forced to go outside.  Pooped on the sidewalk.  

Got bedtime snacks.  Waited for Sean outside the bathroom.  Stared at wall.

Laid down on dog bed.  Itched.  Decided not comfortable enough.  Grabbed Sarah's clothes from closet floor.  Much better.  

Went to sleep on dog bed/ Sarah's clothes.  Snored.

Good day.